It is with the utmost humility that we inform you of a change of worship practices.
Be assured that we bring about his change only after much prayer and study.
We have recently concluded an in-depth study of the Law, and have decided to bring about a change in the type of fire used in worship. We are aware that there is a standing tradition of using only one source of fire, but we, as priests, do not feel obligated to blindly follow tradition. Numerous polls indicate the overwhelming opinion that worshipers do not care where we get the fire. We are in agreement, as we cannot see how a change in fire will affect anything in the least about our sacrifices.
Besides all this, nowhere in the Law does the Lord forbid the use of what some detractors have referred to as "strange fire." We feel that the lack of such a restriction was meant to give us freedom. Is there any place in the Law that tells us we cannot do something the Lord has not seen fit to condemn?
Also, Israel is the only religious group that limits itself to one kind of fire. We have become a laughingstock, and have been ridiculed openly by many groups. This self-righteous, "only-one-fire" policy 
has alienated us from everyone else. We believe this change will open up many fellowship opportunities.
Now, to set the minds of some of you at ease, we will continue to offer a traditional service using the old-fashioned fire as well as this progressive service with the new fire. This will also make it possible to appeal to a younger audience as we discover more entertaining ways to "light the fire" of our assemblies. (Hope you caught the little play on words there!)
For those who still oppose the use of new fire, we ask you not to be judgmental.
We also hope you will not use this change as an excuse to divide our people or stir up trouble. We remind you that this has been well thought out and the majority of elders have signed on with us.
We are very much looking forward to our first new fire service. God will be watching and we anticipate that His joy over seeing His people take a great step toward throwing off the burden of binding tradition will be an electrifying experience.
See you there... we think this new practice is going to spread like wildfire.
For freedom's sake!
Nadab & Abihu, DDLP (Doctors of Divine Law and Progress)
P.S. Future plans include the ordination of women priests, inter-idol fellowship activities, and a special service called, "It doesn't have to be Passover to celebrate Passover.”
Written by David Brassfield for The Bridgewood Beacon via David Dodd
